Welcome back and thanks for returning. We would say we hope last week brought you pints of points and green, upward-trending arrows but we know that probably is not the case. What a week it was.

If life truly imitates art then surely fantasy footy owners found themselves walking about with their little dogs while whispering “there’s no place like home.” If you captained the always-reliable Sergio Aguero or Diego Costa you were rewarded with a whopping 2 points, and with production like that from the captains it came as no surprise the average score was a lowly 33 points. 

Right, so it is time to sift through the rubble of last weekend and see what we can see.

INJURIES

There may have been other injuries this past weekend but there is only one that matters to fantasy footy owners. You had to have been deep in a forest to have missed the news of Sergio Aguero’s injury. Reports are suggesting he will miss at least a month with ligament damage in his knee. For fantasy footy fans, this means he will miss the next 5 game weeks and at the time of writing it looks like his targeted return is City’s January 10 match against Everton. While not quite reaching the heights of Bitey McChomp last season, Aguero was averaging a goal a game and was a constant contender for the captain’s armband. The prospect of an extended absence has sent owners into a panic.

Elsewhere, Fabricio Coloccini managed a full 90 minutes in his first game back from injury but afterwards Alan Pardew told the press the Newcastle skipper was still a risk to miss the Arsenal match. Leicester’s Leonardo Ulloa scored his first goal since game week five and was forced off at halftime with a calf problem. We would update you on Carl Jenkinson’s knock, but we know you do not care. If you own one of these players, first ask yourself “why?” and then check the teams’ injury report prior to the weekend.

SUSPENSIONS

As if Aguero’s injury was not enough for fantasy footy owners to contend with, several key fantasy players either lost their minds or found themselves banned for an accumulation of yellow cards.

We start with Arsenal’s Calum Chambers. No other oft-selected fantasy player has accumulated more bookings this year than Arsenal’s Scarecrow. If he only had a brain… But he does not, and Arsenal fans will be thrilled to hear Mathieu Debuchy’s return is around the corner.

Elsewhere, QPR’s Charlie Austin will miss his team’s match against Everton after seeing red for two bookings against Burnley. Chelsea’s midfield maestro Cesc Fabregas will miss Chelsea’s assault on Hull this weekend after accumulating too many yellow cards. Finally, Lukasz Fabianski is set to miss Swansea’s match against Spurs this weekend thanks to a straight red card.

There are a number of fantasy favourites heading into weekend carrying four yellow cards. If you own one of these players, beware!

Aston Villa: Alan Hutton

Everton: Steven Naismith

Hull: Andrew Robertson

Liverpool: Martin Skrtel

Manchester City: Vincent Kompany, Eliaquim Mangala, Yaya Toure

Newcastle: Daryl Janmaat

Southampton: Victor Wanyama, Graziano Pelle

Stoke: Ryan Shawcross, Marc Wilson

Swansea: Ashley Williams

TRANSFERS

Nothing sets the transfer market ablaze like a low-point game week or a key injury. This week we have both, so it should be no surprise to see the courage of so many fantasy managers waiver. With injuries and suspensions mounting, we are seeing many key players moving in and out of fantasy teams.

I’M MELTING!

Cesc Fabregas, Chelsea

Despite an incredible season to date, a one-week suspension for accumulated yellow cards has seen fantasy managers dump the assist machine. We don’t get it. Eleven assists and fifteen bonus points in fifteen matches should make the midfielder a permanent fixture in your line-up. He will return for Chelsea’s match against Stoke and could immediately leave fantasy managers wondering why they shed him in the first place.

Sergio Aguero, Manchester City

With a long-term injury diagnosis it should be no surprise to see Aguero dropping from teams. It is a shame but we understand. Thanks for the memories Sergio, we will bring you back in with our wildcard in January!

Calum Chambers, Arsenal

The on-again, off-again defender has seen better days. A red card against Stoke means Chambers will miss the Gunners clash with Newcastle and he may have lost the faith of Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger. With Laurent Koscielny healthy again, and Mathieu Debuchy’s having returned against Galatasaray on Tuesday night, it is likely that Chambers could be set for a long-term spell on the bench. We recommend dropping him.

FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD

Wilfried Bony, Swansea

Bony continues to be hot: three goals and an assist in his last four games has put the striker on many an owner’s watch list. With three relatively easy fixtures in front of him, Bony could be the man to replace Aguero in your team.

Andy Carroll, West Ham

Tipped to click in last week’s column, the £35 million man responded with two goals and an assist. With Sunderland and Leicester on the horizon, could we be witnessing the rebirth of Carroll’s career? Probably not, but we still expect Carroll to score in one if not both matches.

Bradley Guzan, Aston Villa

A string of good results and a red card for Lukasz Fabianski has seen fantasy managers flock to Guzan. Aston Villa appear to have finally sorted out their defence and Guzan has produced a clean sheet in two of Villa’s last five. A trip to Manchester United aside, Aston Villa has a decent run of fixtures through the middle of January and we think Guzan will keep a number of clean sheets in that time.

Eden Hazard, Chelsea

We suppose if you are going to sell Fabregas, it might as well be for the Belgian playmaker. Three goals in his last six matches suggest he could be on the verge of rediscovering the form that saw him net 14 goals last season. If that is the case, go ahead and pencil in Chelsea for the title. An in-form Hazard matched with Diego Costa and Cesc Fabregas just simply is not fair to the rest of us that support other teams.

To complete this week’s waffle, please enjoy this picture crudely assembled with the finest of scissors and scotch tape:

Roll Credits…

Tin Man …….…………………….. Sergio Aguero

Dorothy Gale.…………………….. Judy Garland

Scarecrow ………………………… Calum Chambers

Cowardly Lion …………………… <your name here>

Wicked Witch of the West ……….. Jose Mourinho

Toto ……………………………….. Alexis Sanchez

Evil Winged Monkeys …………….. Joey Barton, John Terry, Cheick Tiote

Angry Apple Trees ………………... Ryan Shawcross, Diego Costa, Marouane Fellaini

The Wizard ………………………... Arsene Wenger

Munchkin Mayor ………………….. Mauricio Pochettino

Lollipop Guild ……………….……. Nathan Dyer, Santiago Cazorla, Bojan Krkic

Thanks again for reading. For Arsenal-flavoured rants, fantasy football thoughts and the occasional witty comment, follow @PlanoGooner on Twitter. For all the non-price related information you need to field your best XI, visit us at FantasyFootball247.co.uk and follow @FantasyFooty247 on Twitter. Cheers!